The 3 Old Chics - Almost Literary

In a quiet open-air café, with distinct French décor, the Chics meet again; Stella and Trudi are waiting impatiently…

S: Trudi, there’s too much fresh air here, it’s simply overpowering my cigarettes.

T: Yes, I agree. Whose idea was it to come here anyway?

S: Whose idea is it always? [Pauses] And who’s always late?

T: Well, Grace better show up this time, otherwise coming here will be such a waste of time! Fresh air, no alcohol—and I don’t think the food is great either. Oh the torture!

S: Maybe she already came and she’s got some scary waiter with her in the bathroom…

[Grace walks in]
G: Hellooo, girls. So sorry I’m late. It’s been a crazy day out in the city, just beefy I tell you. So—um, just wait one sec, I’ll go get a moccacino. You two keep on chatting until I get back.

T: Oh Stella! She’s really going back to the bathroom to meet the scary waiter, isn’t she?

S: Exactly! But you know what, I think they do have alcoholic coffees here…[sees Grace coming back] perhaps we could toast to Grace coming so early?

T: Great idea!! Grace, chat with Stella and I’ll go up and order some alcoholic coffees. Would you like one to go with your boring soft moccacino?

G: Oh yes darling, please, Irish Cream. So, Stella, tell me what I’ve missed. Of course, gossip as well. But the priority this evening is BOOKS! What have you read lately? Ok, actually, I’ll go first and tell you about what I stumbled upon in the area just a few weeks past. I entered this “olde book store” and was mystified by the copious amounts of works displayed. Of course, lots of old books, but most importantly: Dragon books. Yes, my weakness…

S: Fabulous, Grace. Honestly, I can’t remember the last book I read, but I’m sure I didn’t like it. Oh, how could we send Trudi to get coffees!?!? She’ll come back with a whole chocolate cake…

G: Oh, c’mon Stella, you and I can handle as much chocolate cake as SHE can. Hmph! Well, on with the book I read…I completely fell in love with it. It’s actually more than a book, heh heh, it’s a trilogy—Dragon Prince, Star Scrolls and Exiles. Oh, you should read them! I’ve only just gone through the first one and it has to do with this hierarchy in this land in the desert, oh, and incredible dragon warriors. It’s about love and magic, and has that touch of humour… [clasps hands while looking up in a daydreaming fashion]

S: Coffees…

T: Oh dahlings! I’m back. Grace—you’re so talkative! Thank god I’m back in the nick of time…for…cheesecake to accompany our alcoholic coffees! By the way, there are two coffees for each one of us, plus, there will be more coming soon—for each of us, of course. Now, let me at the biggest slice of cheesecake—did lots of work bringing the coffees over. [in a split second she has huge slice in front of her] Great. Oh, now I’ve become the chatty one. What are we talking about?

S: Books…

G: I was just talking about Dragon Prince. What have you read lately, Trudi?

T: Oh! It’s a great book: The Color of Distance.

S: Why don’t I remember a great book to talk about? Seriously, girls, I read, I do. It must be the medication and memory effect again…These coffees are horrible! Trudi, what did you ask for? Do you even know? Ugh! Maybe the second will be better…

T: I spend my precious energy to bring us coffee and you’re complaining??? Stella, is something stressing you out? [No response, or maybe no time for one as Trudi continues] Well, I’m sure you’ll tell us eventually—after the second or third cup of ‘horrible’ coffee maybe...Oh, so now she’s leaving! Great. Well, Grace, let me tell you about the great book I read—mmm, good cheesecake. A woman astronaut ends up on an alien planet and her whole team dies. There are these alien creatures that rescue her. They’re frog-like and…well, before I get to the rest, I must compliment the author on her vivid descriptions of the alien foods! [Sighs] Oh, do they sound delicious. I’m almost tempted to believe that they really do exist. Do you think if I gave a big enough amount of money, NASA would find such a planet and take me there? Or better yet, just bring the foods? [Sighs again] Ah yes…food, my passion. You wouldn’t mind if I helped myself to another piece of cheesecake would you? Don’t worry, Stella won’t notice. She’s too busy complaining about alcohol—there’s something really wrong with hers.

S: [Sits back down] Wow, I really don’t have much to say these days. But it’s nice that you two seem to be the chatterboxes today. [Sips coffee no. four] Well, well, this isn’t half as bad as the others!

T: Oh finally! Told you alcohol is always good—perks you right up! So is something bothering you or not, Stella?

S: Fine! You’ve asked to hear the horrible truth. I went to my corner store this morning—you know, my morning walk, all thirty seconds of it—and they no longer stock my first and third favorite kinds of cigarettes. And to makes things worse…

G: Stella!!! It’s a sign!!! You need to switch brands, those filters were too strong. It’s all about the heavy-duty cigarettes. Oh, hunny, wake up and smell the coffee. Literally, here’s java number six. Mmm.

T: I think she had enough coffee smelling, don’t you? She’s had five of them already! I propose a moment of silence to commemorate this terrible tragedy! Girls…

S: Shall we commemorate on the way to the corner store right by this café? I’m pretty sure they’d have my favorites; I need a fix. And maybe we ought to try some lighter filters…you know, the spice of life and everything.

G: Sounds fabulous. Let’s go girls. If we can make it out of the café without falling over…hic…off we go. [They all start to get up]

T: Ok, let’s go…Just grabbing that last piece of cheesecake. You girls don’t want it, right?